The Other First-Day Jitters: Yours

Tax-free weekend has come and gone, you thought you were done with school supply shopping, and your child is reluctant to get up and out the door on time. And when you do get out the door, there's the forgotten-about school traffic. School has started in San Antonio, and you might be having a lot of feelings around it.

Maybe you're feeling the mix of nostalgia for another summer spent with your kids at the same time you are grateful they are going back to school. Maybe you're feeling sad you had to spend the summer working and didn't get as much time with them as you hoped. Or maybe this summer was full of hardships and having to cancel plans due to the rising cost of living.

Regardless of what you're feeling, we can't stop the back to school season. What we can do is manage the feelings you're having and talk about how to make this transition easier.

Step 1: Validate your feelings, knowing two things can be true at once.

Maybe the "they-need-to-be-back-in-school" sentiment is ringing true in your household at the same time you wish time would slow down and you're saying "I-can't-believe-my-baby-is-starting-insert grade here."

We often think humans are one-dimensional, meaning we can only experience one emotion at a time about a singular subject. This is far from the truth. Research on the relationship between guardians and children backs this up: the quality of that relationship shapes a child's mental health in ways that are rarely simple or one-note, and even the guardian's own involvement can land differently depending on the strength of the relationship it's coming from (Xu & Ren, 2025).

Step 2: Practice acceptance.

My second step in navigating back to school comes from a part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): accepting what is. I know what you're thinking, so stay with me. When I talk about "acceptance" with my clients, I always clarify that acceptance doesn't mean we like what is happening. It means we're saying, "Okay, this is happening, and I am having various feelings around it. I recognize they are here, but the feelings aren't in control. I am." This is a core piece of ACT, which centers on building psychological flexibility through acceptance, mindfulness, and behavior-change strategies rather than trying to eliminate difficult thoughts and feelings (Bennett & Oliver, 2025).

Step 3: Give your kids space and a say.

This is hard on you, and it's hard on them, in different ways. Give them space to talk about how they feel, both what excites them and what is hard. Kids, no matter the age, do well and create more buy-in when they are given a say in what the day looks like. This tracks with what the research shows: a warm, responsive guardian–child relationship is one of the strongest protective factors for a child's mental health, and when that relationship is solid, appropriate structure and involvement from a guardian actually strengthens its positive effect (Xu & Ren, 2025).

What this looks like will differ based on developmental stage. For a young grade-school kid, think: picking out their own outfit, choosing what they want for lunch, and creating a before- and after-school routine together as a family discussion, not one decided solely by the caregiver. For your reluctant teen, think along the same lines: give them a say in the routine and what has to get done each night (extracurriculars, homework, chores, etc.), and let them weigh in on when they want to do these things and what they need after school, quiet decompression time, or talking through their day out loud.

Step 4: Plan for the unplanned.

I find guardians often thrive with control and regimented schedules. I always encourage people who like order and structure to plan for inconsistency and plan for the unplanned. Sounds stressful, huh? Know that no matter how much you plan, you cannot plan for every outcome. Developing enough self-trust and instilling that same trust in your kids will help this feel more seamless. Just as we involved your child in the routine above, it's worth asking yourself: how can I identify when I'm feeling stressed from a lack of control?

The Takeaway

The first days of the school year are filled with excitement, stress, not being able to catch your breath, and establishing a new routine… Probably right when your family was finally settling into a summer one. Patience and compassion toward yourself and your kids (or, if you're reading this and are the kid, toward your guardian) is the overarching theme. Pair that with plenty of family communication, and the year will ease into place better for everyone.

I know this isn't a perfect step-by-step approach, and it reads simpler on paper than it plays out in real life, please know everything has nuance. But if you (guardian, parent, caregiver, or student) find yourself wanting to explore this nuance further, visit my contact page and schedule a session with me, or book a consultation.

References

Bennett, R., & Oliver, J. E. (2025). Acceptance and commitment therapy: 100 key points and techniques (2nd ed.). Routledge.

Xu, T., & Ren, J. (2025). Parent–child relationships, parental control, and adolescent mental health: An empirical study based on CEPS 2013–2014 survey data. Behavioral Sciences, 15(1), 52. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15010052