Sober Curious or Just Curious?
We hear the word "alcoholic" and cue bias… We picture the stereotypes of "the uncle who is always drunk" or a houseless individual asking for money, with assumptions being made about what they will use the money for… But what if we challenged these beliefs? What if problematic behavior with alcohol goes beyond that?
If you're reading this, maybe you've found yourself here because you have concerns about your own drinking or are worried about someone you care about. We could sit here together and review the diagnostic criteria needed for a formal Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) diagnosis, but the point is moot. You do not need a formal diagnosis to recognize that alcohol, in one way or another, has a hold on you. If you have found it difficult to control how much, how often, or the urge to drink or behaviors related to alcohol you are valid in identifying with AUD. You don't need Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or a formal diagnosis to cut back or completely stop drinking.
Alcohol consumption in the United States is commonplace, not only for celebratory purposes but even as an unhealthy coping mechanism. From those surveyed in 2025, 79.2% of people 12 and older in the United States reported consuming alcohol. Of those surveyed, 20% reported binge drinking in the most recent month. "Big alcohol" does a great job at making us feel connected to a product, securing buy-in, and targeting specific groups. We are now seeing marketing efforts like "mom water" and spiked coffee canned beverages, celebrities promoting their own products, alcohol infiltrating the health space (oh, the irony) by sponsoring everything from 5Ks to marathons, and social media influencers creating recipes for "protein cocktails." Every demographic can find themselves being targeted by advertising. With this in mind, it is important to know you are not at fault ethical marketing has major grey area, and our brains believe and give attention to what we are exposed to. It feels impossible to avoid exposure to alcohol. We are influenced by it so much so that "the harmful effects of alcohol misuse are far reaching and range from accidents and injuries to disease and death, as well as consequences for family, friends, and the larger society. Economic costs attributed to excessive alcohol consumption are considerable. In the United States alone, the costs of excessive alcohol use were estimated at $223.5 billion in 2006, or $746 per person (Bouchery et al. 2011). Much of these costs result from a loss in workplace productivity as well as health care expenses, criminal justice involvement, and motor vehicle crashes."
The stigma associated with alcohol use is equally far reaching operating "through reduced self-efficacy, the 'why try' effect, or reduced social support. Alcohol stigma is embedded within experiences of guilt and shame, which are often integral to addiction and the complex identity processes involved in recovery. Stereotypes about alcohol problems have further costs, particularly ideas of AUD as always severe, fixed, or uncontrollable. Other stereotype-oriented beliefs such as 'abstinence is always necessary to recover from AUD' undermine self-change, health outcomes, and other public health goals."
Now you might be asking, "okay, great, all of this makes sense and I'm feeling more validated and less alone in my negative experiences with alcohol… but what do I do?"
Bear with me and try your best not to roll your eyes at what I say next… There is evidence that healing does not happen alone, and having a support system is vital. There is a quote common in the AA community: "we are only as sick as our secrets." What this means is we need to practice honesty with ourselves saying "alcohol and I do not get along" and talking to trusted individuals about it. If that needs to start with a therapist, great. Reduce the stigma in your own life first.
Navigating social situations involving drinking might feel terrifying, but the good news is there are plenty of ways to enjoy social situations with mocktails. You might also find yourself feeling anxious without that liquid courage and that's where your support system and self-honesty come back in. Practice self-reflection: what was alcohol helping me avoid? What does my mind go to in situations where I was typically drinking?
If you found yourself resonating with anything said, I feel you, I see you, I hear you, and I have hope for you. If you found yourself wanting to explore these ideas further, visit my contact page and we can do that together.
References
Bouchery, E. E., Harwood, H. J., Sacks, J. J., Simon, C. J., & Brewer, R. D. (2011). Economic costs of excessive alcohol consumption in the U.S., 2006. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 41(5), 516–524.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2011.06.045
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2015). Excessive alcohol use continues to be a drain on the American economy.https://archive.cdc.gov/www_cdc_gov/media/releases/2015/p1015-excessive-alcohol.html
Morris, E., & Hannigan, B. (2023). Why stigma matters in addressing alcohol harm. Drug and Alcohol Review, 42(5), 1032–1041.https://doi.org/10.1111/dar.13660
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2024, November). Economic burden of alcohol misuse in the United States.https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/alcohol-topics/alcohol-facts-and-statistics/economic-burden-alcohol-misuse-united-states
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2025). Alcohol use disorder (AUD) in the United States: Age groups and demographic characteristics.https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/alcohol-topics/alcohol-facts-and-statistics/alcohol-use-disorder-aud-united-states-age-groups-and-demographic-characteristics
Persky, S., Leggio, L., Crozier, M. E., Farokhnia, M., & Curtis, B. (2023). Relationship between self-stigma about alcohol dependence and severity of alcohol drinking and craving. BMJ Mental Health, 26(1).https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjment-2023-300852
Rieckhof, S., Leonhard, A., Schindler, S., Lüders, J., Tschentscher, N., Speerforck, S., Corrigan, P. W., & Schomerus, G. (2024). Self-stigma in alcohol dependence scale: Development and validity of the short form. BMC Psychiatry, 24(1), 1–11.https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-024-06187-z
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2024). 2024 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH). U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.https://www.samhsa.gov/data/report/2024-nsduh-detailed-tables
